


Life sucks, and then you die.

by Unicornsaredeadly



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan
Genre: Eating Disorders, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, One-Sided Attraction, Poor Nico, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-14
Updated: 2016-07-13
Packaged: 2018-07-23 21:18:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,900
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7480464
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Unicornsaredeadly/pseuds/Unicornsaredeadly
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After an incident, Nico mistakes the emotion in Percy's eyes for revulsion. Nico attempts to make himself worthy of Percy by losing a little weight. A little turns into a little more. and then it turns dangerous. Can Percy fix Nico, or is all hope lost? WARNING: Eating disorders, one-sided love, self-harm. If this will trigger you, I beg you not to read it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Warning: self-deprecating thoughts, one sided love.

Disclaimer: I am not capable of coming up with a totally awesome disclaimer, so pretend I did and continue reading the story with the knowledge that I. OWN. NOTHING.

Nico's hands shook in his lap. Was he really going to do this? Yes. Yes he would. He needed this.

He walked slowly to Percy, anxiety and excitement bubbling in his stomach.

"Hey Nico, what-"

Percy was cut off by lips meeting his. Nico shuddered in pleasure, his fantasies finally fulfilled. After about six seconds, Percy withdrew.

Nico had planned for this. He looked up into Percy's shocked eyes, seeing what he feared.

Revulsion.

"Nico, what was... Hey! Nico, wait!"

Nico was running. He disappeared into shadows, knowing where he wanted to go.

The underworld ground appeared underneath his feet, frightening and familiar at the same time. He looked around. He was in his poor excuse for a room in his father's palace. It contained a bed, a nightstand, and a very crappy bookshelf that he used for a dresser.

Nico sat on his bed, thinking. He remembered a course in algebra that he had once taken. A - 100 = 200. So, Annabeth - Nico = why Percy isn't attracted to him. He knew he was being ridiculous, but he didn't care.

In so many of the books he had read, one of the main lessons is: No self-pity. But right then, he just couldn't help himself. Self-pity was the only sort of pleasure he got anymore.

The ghost king stood, walking to his bathroom. He had insisted on a full-length mirror in his bathroom. His father had only given him a strange look, but decided not to question it.

He stripped, wanting to see all his flaws bared. He stared at his greasy hair, his flabs of skin, his general ugliness. That's all Nico was.

Fat.

Ugly.

Stupid.

Worthless.

Useless.

He named them off in his head, the number of words exceeding 20. They were all true, but he'd repeated them so many times that they had almost lost their meaning.

Annabeth was everything Nico couldn't be. Skinny, pretty, smart, useful, female.

She had her flaws, but that gods damned boy even loved those. In a sudden rage, Nico stomped to his room. He grabbed the three pictures of Percy that he kept and threw them to the floor. He smashed them with the heel of his combat boots, sadastic satisfaction coursing through his veins at the thought hurting Percy like Percy hurt him.

He quickly removed a lighter from his pocket and burned the photos. He grinned, reveling in his beloved's fictional pain.

After a few minutes, the rage-induced high wore off. He realized what he had done. The dark haired teen had planned never to see Percy again. True, he had tried to do that before, but that was for attention. He knew it was pathetic, but he just wanted Percy's attention.

With these photos gone, he'd have nothing left of Percy. The thought almost made him sick. He crawled into his bed and tried to pretend that he hadn't done that.

He was aware that it would hurt more in the morning if he ignored it, but right now he didn't care.

He laid in bed for hours, daydreaming. He didn't daydream about anything scandalous, just the sea prince's company. He dreamed of caring for Percy, pleasing Percy, simply being with Percy. This only served to give him bittersweet pain. He could get over him, he knew. But he didn't want to.

Eventually, the pained teen drifted fitfully to sleepWarning: self-deprecating thoughts, one sided love.

Disclaimer: I am not capable of coming up with a totally awesome disclaimer, so pretend I did and continue reading the story with the knowledge that I. OWN. NOTHING.

Nico's hands shook in his lap. Was he really going to do this? Yes. Yes he would. He needed this.

He walked slowly to Percy, anxiety and excitement bubbling in his stomach.

"Hey Nico, what-"

Percy was cut off by lips meeting his. Nico shuddered in pleasure, his fantasies finally fulfilled. After about six seconds, Percy withdrew.

Nico had planned for this. He looked up into Percy's shocked eyes, seeing what he feared.

Revulsion.

"Nico, what was... Hey! Nico, wait!"

Nico was running. He disappeared into shadows, knowing where he wanted to go.

The underworld ground appeared underneath his feet, frightening and familiar at the same time. He looked around. He was in his poor excuse for a room in his father's palace. It contained a bed, a nightstand, and a very crappy bookshelf that he used for a dresser.

Nico sat on his bed, thinking. He remembered a course in algebra that he had once taken. A - 100 = 200. So, Annabeth - Nico = why Percy isn't attracted to him. He knew he was being ridiculous, but he didn't care.

In so many of the books he had read, one of the main lessons is: No self-pity. But right then, he just couldn't help himself. Self-pity was the only sort of pleasure he got anymore.

The ghost king stood, walking to his bathroom. He had insisted on a full-length mirror in his bathroom. His father had only given him a strange look, but decided not to question it.

He stripped, wanting to see all his flaws bared. He stared at his greasy hair, his flabs of skin, his general ugliness. That's all Nico was.

Fat.

Ugly.

Stupid.

Worthless.

Useless.

He named them off in his head, the number of words exceeding 20. They were all true, but he'd repeated them so many times that they had almost lost their meaning.

Annabeth was everything Nico couldn't be. Skinny, pretty, smart, useful, female.

She had her flaws, but that gods damned boy even loved those. In a sudden rage, Nico stomped to his room. He grabbed the three pictures of Percy that he kept and threw them to the floor. He smashed them with the heel of his combat boots, sadastic satisfaction coursing through his veins at the thought hurting Percy like Percy hurt him.

He quickly removed a lighter from his pocket and burned the photos. He grinned, reveling in his beloved's fictional pain.

After a few minutes, the rage-induced high wore off. He realized what he had done. The dark haired teen had planned never to see Percy again. True, he had tried to do that before, but that was for attention. He knew it was pathetic, but he just wanted Percy's attention.

With these photos gone, he'd have nothing left of Percy. The thought almost made him sick. He crawled into his bed and tried to pretend that he hadn't done that.

He was aware that it would hurt more in the morning if he ignored it, but right now he didn't care.

He laid in bed for hours, daydreaming. He didn't daydream about anything scandalous, just the sea prince's company. He dreamed of caring for Percy, pleasing Percy, simply being with Percy. This only served to give him bittersweet pain. He could get over him, he knew. But he didn't want to.

Eventually, the pained teen drifted fitfully to sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Angst - Reviews: 6 - Published: 05-27-16 - Updated: 07-05-16 id:11968221  
Nico wasn't an idiot.

He knew that eventually, Percy would find him. He just didn't expect it to be so soon.

Nico had been running for a month, sure that he would evade Percy for six months, at the least. He hadn't stayed in the underworld for very long, becuase that's the first place that Percy would check.

He was currently in Thailand, laying down on a crappy bed in a crappy hotel in a crappy neighborhood. More discreet this way.

He sorely missed Percy. It was always like this. A tugging in his chest, as if he was tied to Percy.

As he was contemplating this, the door to his hotel room with the evidently crappy lock swung open to reveal the sea prince.

Percy swiftly tackled Nico, to make sure he couldn't run away.

"What the fuck Nico?! I have been searching for you for months, months, Nico. At least give me a damn explanation next time!"

"Okay."

"You cannot just say 'okay.' after pulling a stunt like that. I want an explanation. Now." True worry was building in Percy's eyes. He hoped that he hadn't been the cause of this.

Oh, screw it. "I'm in love with you."

Percy looked shocked for a moment. How had he not noticed? Now, thinking back, it was obvious. The way the boy hid in the shadows and watched him. All the favors that Percy had never asked for that saved his life.

Percy released Nico, sitting back. He took a few moments to process this.

"Then why... Then why have you ran from me like I've got the plauge?"

Nico looked away. "Becuase I wanted to see if you'd notice."

A hurt expression passed the green eyed teen's face.

"I'm sorry Nico. I really am. But I don't return your feelings. Trust me, I wish I could. But we're still friends."

"Tell me this Percy, what's wrong with me? What does Annabeth have that I don't?"

"Nico..."

"What? Is it because she's not emo? Is it because she's blonde? Skinny?"

"No, Nico. I don't know why I'm attracted to her and not you. But Nico, I love you. like family."

"Okay."

"Nico, you're coming back with me."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Nico, if you don't come with me now I will continue to hunt you down until you're back at camp. Please, Nico, come back with me?"

Nico couldn't help it. He looked into those swirling, beautiful eyes that haunted most his dreams, and he couldn't say no. He knew he'd pay for it later.

"Okay."

"Good. Well, follow me. And prepare for one hell of a ride."

A few minutes later, they had arrived at camp half-blood. Nico felt sick at his stomach.

"Give me the eyeball! I'm the tallest sister!"

"No, I am!"

"Shut up, I'm taller than both of you!"

Nico and Percy exited the cab, walking up the hill.

"Thank you, Nico, for coming back."

Nico didn't answer, choosing to stare at the setting sun. It would be time for dinner when they reached camp.

Dread pooled in his stomach at the thought of eating. He knew he was borderline obese, but he hadn't taken any action to change that yet.

When Nico sat down at his table, poked at his food but barely touched it. It was a heaping plate of spaghetti, and it looked really good.

So he decided that in an attempt to lose weight, he would begin cutting his meals in half. He made a line through the middle, and consumed the slightly smaller half. It took real will power to refrain from eating the other half of the plate.

All the while, it completely escaped Percy's notice.

The next morning, Nico weighed himself. The scale read 150.9. The number frightened something deep in Nico.

By the end of the week, I want to weigh 146 pounds.

Nico went through his week the way he normally would, only eating half his meals. He was either so hungry he could eat wood, or not hungry at all.

When he stepped on the scale, the number disappointed him. 148.

And so he devised a more extreme plan to follow.


End file.
